Maybe David Foster Wallace killed himself as a matter of fatigue. Suicide, like acceptance, is maybe getting sick and tired of hearing your inner voice all the time.
Maybe it never gets any better. Another day? More of this? No, thanks.
To be a mass tourist, for me, is to become a pure late-date American: alien, ignorant, greedy for something you cannot ever have, disappointed in a way you can never admit. It is to spoil, by way of sheer ontology, the very unspoiledness you are there to experience. It is to impose yourself on places that in all noneconomic ways would be better, realer, without you. It is, in lines and gridlock and transaction after transaction, to confront a dimension of yourself that is as inescapable as it is painful: As a tourist, you become economically significant but existentially loathsome, an insect on a dead thing.
—David Foster Wallace “Consider The Lobster” (via princehal9000)
Barnie: My name is Barnie and I’m an alcoholic.
Lisa: Mr. Gumble this is a Girl Scout meeting.
Barnie: Is it? Or is it that you girls can’t admit that you have a problem!
The Simpsons, A Star is Burns. S6E18
The Chemical Intervention: "I'm sorry mam'an but It apears your daughter has nano squirrels on the brain, there is only one cure
twenty four days on zoloft and I feel as if all my synapses have been replaced by nano-squirrels and the tiger of anxiety is moving up twards my head to hunt them. I cant read, cant eat, cant stay online and nothing is making me happy. God Damn those nutty nano Squirrels. But I have a cunning…
‘I didn’t want to especially hurt myself. Or like punish. I don’t hate myself. I just wanted out. I didn’t want to play anymore is all.’
‘I wanted to just stop being conscious. I’m a whole different type. I wanted to stop feeling this way. If I could have just put myself in a really long coma I would have done that. Or given myself shock I would have done that. Instead.’
‘The feeling is why I want to. The feeling is the reason I want to die. I’m here because I want to die. That’s why I’m in a room without windows and with cages over the lightbulbs and no lock on the toilet door. Why they took my shoelaces and my belt. But I notice they don’t take away the feeling do they.’
—Infinite Jest, DFW (via refllections)